If you can
If I was blind
I would reach out with my hands
to touch your face
to know your embrace
If I could not speak, then let my heart sing
Your Praises, Oh Lord
If I could not hear
then let my Spirit be filled with
Words that you speak to me
If I could not stand, then let my knees bow before You
Yet will I praise thee
If I lost it all, if I lose my way
If this world steals my voice and I'm left in the dark
and Silence fills my life
I would praise You all of my days
Help me to be all that you want of me
let me mean all these words that i say
I want to see you in my life
Not just in the lives of others
I want to speak of Your goodness
and not just hear You from afar
I want to feel you with all of my senses
Do you know the fullness of God?
Can you taste of the Lord and know that He is Good
and drink of the fountain that never runs dry.
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Fallen
Potrait of a life
so slowly fades away
in all its glorious disarray
paint pastel colours
like the rainbows of glory
am i too late for a sorry
will i remember yesterday
forgetting who am i today
illusions of imperfect reality
delusions of a life without honesty
fallen heroes calling tragedy
sunshine and rain
the beginning and the end
of a new eternity
of ashes and beauty reign
oceans and skies
honor and pride
wage wars for nothing
but truthful lies
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Live and Love
A Father I found
One who loves me more
than Life itself
A child You have found
One You sought to the point
of Death itself
What is left in this world?
That means to me more than You
My days You have fashioned
and all my life You wrote
You formed the words that I will say
The thoughts that I will think
You know exactly how I feel
and You know how much I love You
God, You taught me how
To Live, To Live...
... to Die
To myself, Oh God!
Not my will, but Yours be done
For my sake, You died
and for Yours, I will Live
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Unknowingly
So clear, evening sky
I'm lost in the beauty of His Glory on high
His lovingkindness, and grace for me
He blessed me with a friend
who will always be
the reason I smile
Unknowingly
I'll cherish this memory
Sleep's silhouette will not steal from me
the certainty
Doubt's shadow will not fall on me
Of this I'm sure
that you will be
All God wants you to be
So clear, morning sky
In awe of the wonder of His glory on high
So deep, His love for me
He blessed me with a friend
who will always be the reason I smile
Unknowingly
Psalm 84
How lovely is Your
Dwelling place, Oh Lord
I faint with longing
to enter Your courts
With my whole being
Body and my Soul
I'll shout with Joy
to the Living God
Even if I have to walk through
the Valley of Weeping
It will become a place
of refreshing joy
and when I finally reach
that place You prepared for me
A single day spent in Your courts
Is better than a thousand elsewhere
I would rather be a keeper of gates
in the House of my God
For the Lord God is my Light
He protects me day and night
No good thing will You ever withhold
from those who do whats right
I am Yours.
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Ever Need
My one heart's desire
is to honour You
and all that is within me
will give You praise
All that You require
is brokenness in me
I fall down at Your feet
and worship You
You are the One my soul longs for
Lord I live for You
my heart has heard Your call for me
and this is my answer
Lord You are the One I want
Everything my soul ever needs
and in You alone will I trust
Forever.
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AETERNALIS
Ben Shyen.
born 18th April 1984.
died to self and born again in 1997.
living for Him ever since.
msn address - dawnofsorrow@hotmail.com
friendster address - benshyen@gmail.com
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Need.
We need air to fill our lungs, we need food and drink to sustain our body. These are the physical needs we often overlook or attribute any importance to. But our lack of attention to these things do not diminish its importance in our lives. Just try holding your breath and see what happens? Did you know it's impossible to commit suicide by holding your breath? At some point, your brain will kick in and force you to take that gasp of air.
As a Christian, and one who loves to worship God... I have come across many songs which translate these basic needs of ours into a spiritual sense: 'You're the air that I breath, the water I thirst for' (Avalon - Everything to me) is but one example. 'I can't live a day without You' is another. Beautiful words, beautiful songs, but perhaps some of us may have taken these words for granted? I know I struggle... Someone once taught me that 'impurity' is when body, mind and soul are not in line with one another: meaning you can be saying one thing, not truly meaning what you say, and doing something else altogether. I have a Christian sister who would refuse to sing lines like 'I can't live without You' or 'I would die for You' because she knew that she hasn't reached that point where she could truly mean what she sang. I found her principle admirable in a way that she wanted to be honest with God and herself...
God has been so good to me and continues to be every single day of my life. While I don't know whether I could sing the lines above and mean them, I know I can mean 'On mountaintops or in valleys, I will praise Your name irregardless'. This is my own personal breakthrough that in good or bad times, I have learnt to give thanks to God for them. Every single valley experience with Him walking me through it has at the end made me a stronger, better person and continues to mould me more and more like Him. Every mountaintop experience has been pure exhilaration.
God showed me what it meant to need Him. There was a period of time when I was really under a lot of burdens... and it really bore down on me during those times, I lost all desire and motivation to do anything. I couldn't taste the food I was eating, I couldn't get any rest when I slept, I couldn't find Joy let alone Strength. Of course, as a Christian, I sought Jesus the only way i knew how, the way I was accustomed to. Prayers of Convenience. Prayers of Need. Not needing God, but needs to be fulfilled.
No dice. Standstill. Brick wall.
Almost desperate, I remembered Jeremiah 29:12-14, the verses after the famous 'I know the plans I have for you...' It says simply: Seek Him with all your heart, and you will find Him. And so I did. I looked. but couldn't see. I sought, but couldn't find. I continued to seek, and seek and seek... I cried out to Him but silence only greeted me. Hours flew by without my heavy laden heart taking any notice. It was like clawing with my fingernails trying to break down that brick wall. Like wandering in the darkness. Exhausted I lay on my bed, tears of futility and hopelessness my only companion.
and then suddenly: He was there.
and it was then in His embrace I knew I needed Him. I always have. I have always said I have, but it was different now that I knew it to be true. Understand that I've never doubted this truth, but personally now, on a God-Ben Shyen intimacy, its true.
and I rejoiced.
Aeternalis
6:17 AM
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Wednesday, May 24, 2006
With my last post dating early April, I feel an explanation should be made concerning my long hiatus. As the image above should suggest, I am in the midst of academic preparation for what is the last lap of my medical studies in Phase I. I will be facing my last systems paper, the Central Nervous System on the 26th of May and from the 17th to the 21st of July, the End of Semester 5 examinations.
Successfully passing these examinations, I will continue my 2nd phase of medical studies in Seremban, posted to the Seremban General Hospital. Interestingly enough, I'm actually looking forward to it even though it would mean leaving and all that is associated with leaving; especially the family that I've grown to love in CampusCity and ACTS. Finally, I would be one step closer in realizing my childhood 'dream'. The ambition hasn't changed, but the reason behind it has matured over time. God is and always will be the center of my focus, and I pray that He can use my studies for His glory.
Do pray for me if you can find the time! Thank you all for the encouragements that you've given me so far...
God bless.
Aeternalis
6:33 PM
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