If you can
If I was blind
I would reach out with my hands
to touch your face
to know your embrace
If I could not speak, then let my heart sing
Your Praises, Oh Lord
If I could not hear
then let my Spirit be filled with
Words that you speak to me
If I could not stand, then let my knees bow before You
Yet will I praise thee
If I lost it all, if I lose my way
If this world steals my voice and I'm left in the dark
and Silence fills my life
I would praise You all of my days
Help me to be all that you want of me
let me mean all these words that i say
I want to see you in my life
Not just in the lives of others
I want to speak of Your goodness
and not just hear You from afar
I want to feel you with all of my senses
Do you know the fullness of God?
Can you taste of the Lord and know that He is Good
and drink of the fountain that never runs dry.
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Fallen
Potrait of a life
so slowly fades away
in all its glorious disarray
paint pastel colours
like the rainbows of glory
am i too late for a sorry
will i remember yesterday
forgetting who am i today
illusions of imperfect reality
delusions of a life without honesty
fallen heroes calling tragedy
sunshine and rain
the beginning and the end
of a new eternity
of ashes and beauty reign
oceans and skies
honor and pride
wage wars for nothing
but truthful lies
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Live and Love
A Father I found
One who loves me more
than Life itself
A child You have found
One You sought to the point
of Death itself
What is left in this world?
That means to me more than You
My days You have fashioned
and all my life You wrote
You formed the words that I will say
The thoughts that I will think
You know exactly how I feel
and You know how much I love You
God, You taught me how
To Live, To Live...
... to Die
To myself, Oh God!
Not my will, but Yours be done
For my sake, You died
and for Yours, I will Live
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Unknowingly
So clear, evening sky
I'm lost in the beauty of His Glory on high
His lovingkindness, and grace for me
He blessed me with a friend
who will always be
the reason I smile
Unknowingly
I'll cherish this memory
Sleep's silhouette will not steal from me
the certainty
Doubt's shadow will not fall on me
Of this I'm sure
that you will be
All God wants you to be
So clear, morning sky
In awe of the wonder of His glory on high
So deep, His love for me
He blessed me with a friend
who will always be the reason I smile
Unknowingly
Psalm 84
How lovely is Your
Dwelling place, Oh Lord
I faint with longing
to enter Your courts
With my whole being
Body and my Soul
I'll shout with Joy
to the Living God
Even if I have to walk through
the Valley of Weeping
It will become a place
of refreshing joy
and when I finally reach
that place You prepared for me
A single day spent in Your courts
Is better than a thousand elsewhere
I would rather be a keeper of gates
in the House of my God
For the Lord God is my Light
He protects me day and night
No good thing will You ever withhold
from those who do whats right
I am Yours.
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Ever Need
My one heart's desire
is to honour You
and all that is within me
will give You praise
All that You require
is brokenness in me
I fall down at Your feet
and worship You
You are the One my soul longs for
Lord I live for You
my heart has heard Your call for me
and this is my answer
Lord You are the One I want
Everything my soul ever needs
and in You alone will I trust
Forever.
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AETERNALIS
Ben Shyen.
born 18th April 1984.
died to self and born again in 1997.
living for Him ever since.
msn address - dawnofsorrow@hotmail.com
friendster address - benshyen@gmail.com
Friday, July 21, 2006
Its finally over.
I've spent more than 300+ hours for the past 2 months preparing for this past 4 days. Definitely the most difficult academic challenge that I've faced thus far. But my preparation is really nothing compared to some of my peers who spend around 10-12 hours a day studying. Some of them genuinely enjoy doing what they do. Don't get me wrong, I do too... but I think from this, I've discovered new limits of mental endurance after experiencing such draining and fatigue. I used to like to think that a good doctor is one who knows his stuff and is compassionate, and although I'm not strong on the first part, the second factor is my redeeming point. True enough, I love interaction with patients and conversing with them, making them feel that they're not just another case on another bed. However, the truth of the matter is, I need to increase my knowledge and medical experience as well. Medicine is a subject with no defined boundaries, the subject matter is too wide to completely cover. But that's no excuse when lives are in your hands.
I'm halfway there! I'm looking forward to my Clinical phase in Seremban, but perhaps a bit nervous as well. I won't be facing books and notes anymore, but people. Real patients, experienced doctors who won't hesitate to blow you away at the first sign of hesitancy. This last 2 and a half years, I will learn the tools of my trade, and learn I shall.
God is at the center of it all. Amazing testimonies of the amount of times in this past 2 months when hopelessness seemed to prevail, God became my Only Hope. There was one time when I really couldn't take it anymore and I just took a walk at around 2 am in the morning a few weeks back. I was really praying hard and walking around my neighbourhood in the dead of night. It seemed hard to break out of the rut that I was in. Just when I was about to give up and head back, suddenly I cried out, 'Lord, help me to TRUST You'. At that exact moment, I walked past this house and in the house was a car with a numberplate. The numberplate had a number (duh.) but below the number was one word: Trust. I stopped dead in my tracks. The first thing that went through my mind was, 'What in the world is the word Trust doing on a numberplate? Brand of numberplate ar?'. Whatever it is, the timing of it, right at that moment when I felt the need to really trust Him. I stood there for a while just staring at the car... and then I laughed. I laughed all the way back to my house perhaps, and I found strength to carry on studying once again.
And now, its over... God has shown Himself to be Faithful again. He always has. He always will. I know that in quiet confidence and trust, I've come to depend on Him. Dependence. Total and complete. I haven't gotten my results yet. I will next Friday, the 29th of July. But yet, I know (as I knew back then during A-levels) that God has did it again for me: a miracle. But God also reminds me of the 'Even if' kind of Faith seen in the lives of Shedrach, Mishech and Abednego. I want that. I truly do... A friend of mine has said that she would follow me to Church if she passed because I prayed for her when she asked me to. Thats really great, but sometimes its also sad that people know only how to thank God after getting what they want in life? How is it with me, Lord? I say that I would thank You, irregardless of success or failure... but I truly wouldn't know unless I fail, would I? Just like how we say that we'd die for You. Would we say any different with a gun pointed at our heads?
Why do we go through trials and tests? Is it because God wants to know how we'd do? My belief is that God already knows the outcome of the testings and the tribulations that He allows us to endure. The reason we go through this, is so that we ourselves know the outcome: where we stand, how strong our Faith is, what it would really take to shake our spiritual foundations, whether we'd say, 'Enough is enough. I quit'. And sometimes, we do give up. I know I have. But if we can learn how to respond instead of react to these failures, then we can pick ourselves up again. Even as a Christian, with the Love and Grace of God being the closest things to my heart that I desperately cling on to, I have failed. But if you've never tasted failure, how would you recognize success?
When it really matters, my friends, make a decision that will count. What you do today, what you say today has eternal consequences. I pray I will as well.
God bless.
Aeternalis
12:28 AM
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